It’s Monday, so I should be posting a very positive congratulations to those who accomplished their goal last week (myself included) and motivating others to take on a new challenge at the start of this promising week. But alas, today has been the worst day I’ve had in a long time. My goal for this current week is simply to survive without blowing up. I try to keep this website (and myself!) as positive as possible, but I think today was and is a good reminder that sometimes a worthy weekly goal is to make time to sit back, reflect, breathe, and take each day as it comes.
In the grand scheme of things, my drama is not that bad compared to what others endure. I won’t discount that it is causing me great heartbreak, anger, and disbelief though. After sending my son to daycare since he was 12 weeks old, we hired a nanny a month ago. We found her on Care.com but soon discovered she had gone to high school with my husband and they have mutual friends. As an added bonus, she was 37 years old and also a massage therapist who only massaged on weekends. I thought it was fate, so we were thrilled to entrust her with our son 3 days a week. My son’s last day of daycare was on Friday and she was set to start tomorrow. I sent her an email on Friday just to touch base and once again express how excited we were to have her on board. I didn’t hear back, but when I texted her on Sunday she said she would be here and that she would email me back later. Well, she emailed me back today, alright…to inform me she had accepted another job.
…Let that marinate for a moment…
Her email was very self-centered and lacked any sort of understanding as to how this would impact us. When I wrote her back a stern email to tell her how disappointed and angry I was that she would do this so last minute, and by email no less, I never expected to hear from her again. She responded, like a catty, insolent 16 year old (with poor grammar and incomplete sentences no less), and gave a litany of personal justifications that took zero consideration to our feelings, nor the situation she was leaving us in. She kept citing money as the main factor and revealed that she had just received the job offer last night. (In some ways, that feels worse. She should’ve been off the market.)
I responded a second (and last) time that she can make all the excuses she wants but ultimately she chose money over ethics. In my most harsh but most honest line, I wrote it’s obvious she doesn’t have children because she has shown zero understanding of the planning, emotions, and TRUST that goes into hiring a nanny. I ended my succinct note by saying that we wish her well and are relieved to have learned of her lack of commitment now versus later when Braiden would have been directly affected, and there was no need to continue this conversation.
She had the audacity to respond again!
This time, I deleted it after reading the first rude and delusional lines–silly me to have initially thought she was finally giving a proper apology for her unprofessionalism. I did sneak a peek a few hours later though after I had calmed down, and the 2 lines that really jumped out are: “Obviously , I could say too that you choose money over ethics as well because you choose to work therefore requiring a nanny.” And, her closing line, “Be thankful your child didn’t get attached to the nanny and then I leave in a year. There is always a positive.”
I can’t make this up, people! Aside from her head-scratching slam against working moms (aka ’employers’ in the nannying profession), her last line sums up everything so perfectly. We dodged a freaking bullet. I was very upfront about wanting a nanny who would grow with our family over the next several years, and she all but confirmed that she had no intentions of being a reliable nanny to begin with. I can’t believe I was going to let this woman into our home, and care for my child completely unsupervised! I have never felt more passionate on the positives of having my son enrolled in a school with professional teachers, a curriculum, and the guarantee of care every day.
I’ll admit that I’m straight up taking advantage of having a blog to vent openly about this, so I’m not even sure what the lesson here is, or if I even have one. I just know that today I was burned and now I feel like I was left standing at the alter. I have experienced similar feelings, in much different scenarios of course, but the underlying message has cast a dark shadow on my heart for years…I have poor judgement of character. I would like to claim otherwise, see the good in humanity, but every so often someone comes around that puts that seed deep in me that people can’t be trusted. Over the years this always seems to be the hardest lesson to learn and grow from. Maybe that’s just part of life–that some people seem to pull a fast one on us and turn out to be the exact opposite of what we thought. I thank God that any time this sort of lesson comes up, I am not invested beyond the point of rebounding. This situation will certainly not be forgotten though, and it will take some time to lose the hurt and resentment she caused me and my family.
Take this week to breathe and be reminded that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. God works in mysterious ways.